Nearly three weeks in, and the diet seems to be catching up to me. I was going strong for the first couple weeks, no problems physically (and only a few emotionally–less than I thought), but now that my body is realizing I’ve made a permanent and healthy change, it seems to want to rebel. I’m either too hungry, or too full; there’s rarely an in-between state, which is irritating. There are some digestive issues (belly ache!) which Amy has helped me through, crafting alternatives to things that might upset my delicate stomach.
One of the biggest issues about having an eating disorder is obession; food is all we think about. Ug. Obsessing is not a pleasant thing to do, for sure, but I also realize that baby steps are in order. Even though I’m not the type of person to have huge amounts of patience, this time I’m going to do it right–otherwise, the fix won’t be permanent. It’s all mental, all attitude, which is something that applies not only to eating disorders, but to any goal or issue someone may have (parenting, maintaining a career, relationship with self or others, achieving new fitness goals, etc.). The personal motto which I’ve created and adopted for myself is Master Your Mind, And the Body Will Follow. That’s what it takes to go all the way with anything in life.On that theme, I’ve also taken on a crucially inspirational poem which Amy recently shared with me. I suggest you read it, and apply it–we can all learn something from these words:
The Man in the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day.
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what the man has to say.
For it isn’t your mother, father or spouse
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest.
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
(If you’re interested in finding out how Amy found this poem, and how it inspired her life, take a look at her ABOUT page.)
I’ve learned that not taking care of yourself in any form–starving, bingeing, over-exercising or not exercising at all, taking drugs, abusing alcohol, or simply lacking respect for yourself–is just cheating the man in the glass (or, as the case may be, the woman in the glass). Now that I’ve begun to give that woman the utmost respect, I vow never to turn back. The largest gift anyone can give themselves is a hearty boost of self-esteem. Hurray to the glass!
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Advanced Workouts (advancedworkouts.com) was created for advanced home fitness buffs who love challenging their bodies to the extreme of their abilitiy, and whose goals are to increase muscular strength, endurance, flexibility, and overall cardio fitness.
In September 2007, Jen du Bay, owner of Advanced Workouts, will be a background exerciser in the filming of the Slo-Mo workout from Amy Bento’s fitness DVD series, The Challenge Series. This blog tracks her progress and struggles as a recovering anorexic while she trains for the upcoming fitness DVD. Jen is also the author of the novel, The Anorexic Food Writer (www.anorexicfoodwriter.c
om) and is currently searching for a literary agent to represent her work.
Member Since: 7/23/2007