Mrnrfan182's Blog

I'm not one for politics.  In short, I hate them.  If anything it's too confusing and far too much work to actually pay attention.  The more attention you pay the more frustrated you become...and right now I'm pretty frustrated. 

I'd like to take this moment to mention that I don't vote.  I've never registered to vote and quite frankly, I don't plan on it.  Simply put, I am what's wrong with this country...(apparently)...and yet I have no remorse.

Now some of you may ask how it is that I could fore go my ever so beloved right to check boxes on a ballet and I'd have to respond by simply saying that I just don't care.  I'm pretty sure that if you're even reading this blog (which given the number of responses the blogs posted on here get I'm assuming not many people will) it stands a good chance that I've touched a nerve and spun your thought process in the direction of writing off anything I have to say on the matter of politics.  If that's the case you may rest assured knowing that my response to that is quite literally a shrug of the shoulders and a crooked smirk.....but if you can tolerate my attitude and are interested enough to push forward through my cumbersome wordings than I welcome your unlikely response.

I like Obama.  I hate Hilary.  Why?  I couldn't tell you.  That's right, I have no idea why.  I think that what it comes down to simple likability and I just don't like Hilary.  Why do I like Obama?  Because I think he'd come over to a movie night and have a good time.  I feel as though Mrs. Clinton would be prude and tell me my apartment needed a cleaning. 

I don't like McCain either.  Why?  Is it his beliefs?  Is it his less than conservative nature?  Nope.  I think he's a tool.  I can't imagine having to see news stories with this less than adequate monkey reciting someone else's words before a camera.  He's boring to look at, even more lame to listen to and quite honestly I'd vote for his dog before I voted for him.  Does he even have a dog? 

It's sad really but I'd rather cast my non-existent  vote towards Mr. Obama simply because that man can talk.  He sounds educated, seems personable and knows how to motivate a crowd.  Isn't that what we need?  Don't we need a president that can motivate?  If you ask me I think that's more important than the most sound of health care plans.  Why?  Because no matter your stance, no matter your plan, you still have to fight a billion different people from different parties to get something completed and I just don't have faith that any one one candidate will be any more successful than the other at accomplishing anything. 

My frustration comes in the most recent of primaries.  I don't want this race to continue and would love for someone to step down.  Instead I'm going to continue to sit here, at work, day in and day out and listen to news stories and primary coverage until the middle of April where hopefully (depending on your stance) Hilary can twist a few more arms and prolong this ever increasingly painful crap forward.  So it is today that I concede and remove myself as a spectator and resign what small bit of interest I have in this race and will now make every attempt and blocking it from my ears.  Should Obama win the race I feel he to be the next president.  Should Clinton prove successful in pushing forward and closing Obama's lead with her attack campaigns and cheesy appearances on SNL, then I may have to throw my uneducated and imaginary vote behind McCain's potentially non-existent dog.

Be Kind Rewind is one of those films that will likely deceive most of its viewers as it stands a good chance that most of them are attending based on the hilarity of the trailers and the inclusion of Jack Black. It's unfortunate, at least in my eyes, that the movie was marketed to the masses in the only way that it was seemingly deemed plausible but ultimately, I cannot disagree with the fact that my interest was peaked because of the potentially gut busting good time that was apt to ensue. Much like a number of the people that will watch this movie, I was wrong.

What will most people think before watching this movie? That they'll see Jack Black and Mos Def run around creating horrible, yet hilarious, remakes of popular films in an attempt to replenish the supply of "magnetically erased" VHS tapes that make up the library in their rundown corner video store.

What will people actually see? Jack Black being nothing short of annoying and obnoxious as only he can be and Mos Def reprising yet another role as a wide eyed innocent man who's mentality ceased to grow after the age of 10. There's an underlying theme regarding the power of film and it's ability to bring people together and a daring flirtation with the ridiculousness of big media companies and their seemingly dying medium at the hands of bootleggers and pirates. (To which Black's character so eloquently states, "We don't sell boots and we're not pirates")

You'll enjoy this movie if: You can suspend your disbelief and actually pay attention to the message that's being portrayed. Likewise you'll have to accept the fact that not all movies need happy smell good endings to prove a point. You'll especially like this film if you like movies that don't over explain an ending and actually let you complete the story on your own. Furthermore, this film will actually tickle your funny bone enough to make you laugh but you'll have to be a fan of Black's over the top persona to appreciate most of the jokes.

You'll hate this movie if: You're a frat boy attending the University of Southern Maine and were expecting to see a movie wrought with one liners and hilarious moments. You'll also hate this movie if you cannot get over the ridiculousness of the situation or if you hate Jack Black.

What I liked about this movie: It has a message, though a bit quirky, regarding the fact that movies don't always have to be well polished and well made to entertain. I liked the fact that movies were portrayed as things to bring people together. I think it's a nice touch on just how important movies are to us and how involved we really get. Some people take it personally when you don't like their favorite movie...now imagine just how excited they'd be if they got to be a part of it? That's what this movie does for it's characters. The end of the movie will even make you smile just a bit, especially if you've ever worked on something so hard and only had a small audience to show it to.

What I disliked about this movie: I think Black was a little too over the top at times (like a kid who wanted to impress his friends) and I couldn't determine whether Mos Def was autistic or simply naive. Some of the plot points (such as Glover's character's investigation) were unnecessary and though I would love to explain why, it doesn't take from the film enough to credit the additional typing.

Would I recommend this movie: As a rental yes, as a trip to the movies no. This film is not one that you need a surround system to enjoy and there aren't enough laugh out loud sections to make a crowded theater come to life. If you own Ghostbusters be prepared to pull that off your shelf because if anything, the Be Kind remake will remind you of just how good that film really is.

My rating: B-

Here's a movie I don't have to spend much time reviewing.  it's crap.  Pure and total crap.  The one before if, crap too but this one is worse.  Some have hailed this as actually being good, a great sci-fi ride of a good time that represents what it's precursor should have been.  Here's what it's precursor should have been...scrapped before production was completed.  This movie, on the other hand, should be sitting in a toilet bowl.  Use your imagination as to what one would do with this film before tossing it into a toilet bowl.

Simply put, stay away.  Far far away.   In the grand scheme of things, if you were to compare this film to a work of art, I'd say it was on par with a two-year old's finger painting.  This film is so terrible I cannot even begin to give it a serious review.  The only thing I walked away with once two hours of my life had been wasted is the sheer joy of knowing that someday, maybe, I'll be given the opportunity to blow millions of dollars on crap.  I could have put a vase with some flowers in front of a camera for two hours and it would have entertained you more than this. 

In conclusion: if you like watching films that were seemingly lit with a night light and action sequence where the only real action is being confused as to what the hell is happening, this movie is for you.

In 1954 Richard Matheson wrote the Science Fiction novel I am Legend. The novel tells the tale of Robert Neville, a man cursed with living in post apocalyptic Los Angeles where a virus has essentially turned the world's populous into vampires. Only Neville has the ability to live and move during the daylight hours where he spends his time reinforcing his home and hunting down those who have become infected.

The first adaptation of this novel to the silver screen came about in 1964 under the title: The Last Man on Earth. The role of Robert Neville was given to Vincent Price though the last name of the character was changed to Morgan. As is the norm, the movie borrows heavily from the book in some respects but varies heavily in others.

The second adaptation of this novel came in 1971 under the title: The Omega Man. This time is was Charlton Heston who was given the role of Robert Neville. The movie itself varies more significantly from the novel than the prior iteration but is often considered the better of the two films.

In 2007 the third adaptation hit theaters and for the first time it carried with it the actual title of the book. In this iteration the role of Robert Neville has been given to Will Smith. It is on this film that my following review is based.

Matheson's novel is often credited for being the influence behind movies such as 28 Days later, Blade and even George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. Stephen King has also given credit to Matheson's work and admits heavy influence from this novel. So is this third attempt at portraying one of the novels hailed by so many actually any good? I'll put it to you this way; if Mr. King would like one of his crap novels to actually get critical acclaim in the theater he may want to give Mr. Smith a call because whatever this man touches is pure gold!

I like Will Smith, I always have, but I must admit my skepticism was high when I first heard of his role in this movie. Though I was immediately interested the moment I saw the first trailer, the concept of spending that much time watching one actor struck more fear into me than the premise of the actual film. My main question was whether or not Smith could actually carry this movie alone. The answer: yes.

It's hard for me to outline for those one or two people that read this just what I liked about the film. As it stands now my viewing of the movie took place nearly a month ago. For all intent and purposes it's a great flick, well, three quarters of it anyway. Some of the visuals are simply breath taking and the sense of isolation that you feel as your eyes remained fixated on screen is, at times, almost overwhelming. So well done was the depiction of Neville's solitude that one can actually begin to imagine how easy it would be to go mad.

The height of this film, for me, is not the action packed end but rather the emotional collapse of Neville that transpires shortly before it. There will come a scene in this film where Smith's eyes swell as he begins to plead with a mannequin asking her to "Please talk to me". It is at that moment that you realize the scope of this story and just what it would be like to truly be the last man on earth. It is also, as sad as it is for me to admit, the last part of the movie that I actually like.

It's not that the film ended poorly (though it could have been better) but rather it seems more like a mad rush to add some last minute action and to give the audience a sense of closure. The reason I include references to the films prior is that I feel watching them will help you to fully understand just how this movie should have played out. All too often audiences influence the writer's and filmmakers to change a movie for what some would deem better but unfortunately, in this movie, it doesn't work. AT ALL.

This is a story not about the last man on earth but the role of human existence on this planet. What you're supposed to get from this film is that humanity lies not in the norm but rather in the heart. As Neville hunts and kills his enemies you should begin to realize that he is, to them, nothing but a monster. In a world where an unaffected human is unheard of, his existence is like that of today's monsters, simply a legend. So as this man struggles with his humanity and loses his sanity trying to right the mistakes of mankind, you should be able to see that our hero, though he represents us, is no better and no worse than those that now walk the earth. Unfortunately Hollywood would rather you think that his "legend" is more a heroic one and the true point of this film, for them, is that there's hope and that somehow Neville's dedication to his research will provide mankind that last inclining of salvation. So far as I'm concerned that's crap.

In summary: Watch the film, and the ones prior, maybe even read the book, and you'll hopefully respect the movie for what it does well. I personally feel as though this story nails the one it borrows from until the end. Unfortunately the real end of this movie, the one that should have taken place, would cause most audiences to stir in sheer disappointment...we could never have that could we..............

Quite some time ago I wrote a piece regarding my stance on life and touched a bit on my stance regarding religion/faith.  Given the new section on faith I decided to share it here on the website for all to read...enjoy.

I can't honestly say either way where I stand on the subject of religion.  Part of me wants there to be more to life, a higher purpose, something that's predetermined and important.  To give it thought, to actually sit down and focus your energy on the intricacies of life, sometimes it's a bit overwhelming.  How do you believe in something that you cannot see and explain things that cannot be explained?  Also, how are you supposed to fully appreciate something, such as life, when you can't truly understand the concept or it's meaning? 

So am I attempting to tackle the meaning of life or the existence of God?  No.  My concern here is whether or not I can ever grasp the concept or the importance of life.  Can you?

Every night that we go to sleep we're sure that when we wake up we'll start another day, enter another square on the calendar or page in our day planners.  It's like the transition between scenes in a movie.  A quick fade to black to emphasize the passing of time or change of scenery and a slow fade in to establish location and time change.  Few of us seemingly doubt whether this will occur when we call it a day and retire to our pillows, and unless you've been told otherwise, it's a fair assumption. 

But isn't there more to life than the sleep, school/work, food, sleep, school/work, food, sleep schedule?  We live in a society that puts a heavy emphasis on money, big achievements and standards of living.  Pricey objects, expensive vacations and numbers on a bank statement govern many of us to adhere to a standardized format, a list of things that must be accomplished every day of every week if we're to fully enjoy the fruits of life.  So if there's a higher meaning to all of this, what is it?

Why do I sit in this control room pushing buttons, flipping channels, loading commercials, and longing for some other means to entertain myself?  Why do I go home at night wondering when the next time I'm going to do something truly memorable and life altering?  Isn't life, in it's most bare definition, nothing more than than passing of time between your first and last breath?  Furthermore, my question to the world is this: are we just confused?

I find numerous faults with organized religion but of those faults one stands out to me personally and that's fate.  If you don't like the word fate we can use words such as "guided" or "helped".  Regardless, the human race often times seeks guidance from a potentially non-existent source.  It doesn't always make the most sense to me.  It's like being blinded folded, tossed into a dark cave, handed a flashlight and being told that your flashlight is on and because it's on you'll find your way out of that cave, all thanks to the flashlight that may or may not be on, all you need to do is have faith.  Upon exiting that cave, removing the blindfold and seeing light for yourself, you pay respect to the power of the flashlight for it gave you the strength and power to continue?  Does that seem wrong to anyone else?  Didn't the strength to come through come from your own resilience?  Wasn't it your hard work, efforts and trust in your own ability to get through the situation what actually got you through that cave?  Why are we always so quick to credit our strengths to a higher power that, in all due respect, probably doesn't exist?

But I know nothing of religion.  I don't practice one because none of them make sense.  I'm not down with the concept of reading the "word of God" out of a book that's gone through more revisions than our constitution.  God's word is final, until we revise it for the next edition. 

I do believe that you should live for the sake of making yourself happy.  Each day should be a progression towards what you want to achieve.  If it makes you happy helping others, if that's what makes you feel good, than do that.  If you think people should fend for themselves and you'd rather be a loner, keeping to your interests and your interests only, do that.  Listen not to those who tell you you're wrong, that you're way of thinking is wrong.  What's wrong is telling someone how they should think, feel, and act if you disagree.  What's wrong is assuming that someone is evil, corrupt, hellbound, or simply below you because they don't hold true to your morals or opinions.  But are they really your morals and your opinions or that of a church?  And who controls the church?

But I need not rant further regarding religion and it's faults.  There are faults with my way of thinking I'm sure.  Personally, I'm open to having an open mind.  But I will forever refuse to believe that any one God thinks it's ok to kill someone based on what they think or believe. 

Given all that is stated above, it would seem to me that the most important thing you can do is live your life according to what you deem appropriate.  Stop for a second and think about what you want, then think of a way to get it.  You have a lifetime to figure it out, and a lifetime to accomplish it.  But you'll feel as though you're living an eternity if you're only doing what you think you have to.  You'll always be "just getting by" if you keep to a schedule that accomplishes just that. 

I'm just as lost and as confused as everyone else.  I want answers to things I can't possibly have answers to.  I want a crystal ball to look into, I want the spoilers to my own life.  What's going to happen next, where am I going and how do I get there?  Of course I'll always long for those answers for as long as it takes me to fully realize that those answers don't exist.  There is no tomorrow until I get through today and tomorrow will be just like today if I let it.  It's in my hands to create whatever life and future is ahead of me, and likewise for everyone else in the world.  Stop for just a second and think about what you have and how you got it.  It's not likely that anyone but you made it happen.  But hey, where you place the credit is up to you, but mine's not going to fate.

It's been a while since I've posted.  In total truth it's because I'm genuinely disinterested.  I love to write and most people will tell you I talk far too much (I get that from my dad) but as of late my attitude towards expressing my thoughts and opinion, at least in the form of writing, has been non-existent.  I will, however, leave this one tasty bit before I venture to Hawaii and spend a week doing anything but watching television.  

 Has anyone else found the rate at just how quickly major motion pictures come to DVD alarming?  The example I'm going to work with today is Transformers.  I saw this movie on July 3rd.  Today is October 16th.  Let's do the math shall we:

 August 3rd...(one month after Transformer released)

September 3rd...(two months after Transformers released)

October 3rd...(three months after Transformers released)

October 16th...(three and one half months after Transformers released)

 Despite the tone that I've taken thus far with my blog you may be under the impression that I'm irritated.  I'm actually quite thrilled.  I loved this movie and the sooner I can own it the better.  I expected a holiday release, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that it'd be out before Xmas, but three months after it debuted is a bit quicker than I anticipated.  The movie itself had to have been in theaters for at least a month if not more! But here I am,  about to drop some hard earned dough on another overly priced piece of plastic. 

 My concern, however, is not how quickly this movie (and many others) moved to DVD but how quickly my desire to go to the theater to see a movie has waned.  What's the point?  Sure you get to see it on the big screen with surround sound but my roomie is about to buy the HD copy of this DVD and I assure you that the setup we have for movie viewing at our apartment will be almost more enjoyable and equally as pretty.  Nothing beats pausing a movie for a bathroom break or not missing out on something cool because you just had to turn around and beat the snot clear out of the little kid behind you that wouldn't stop kicking your seat even after you asked 15,000 times for him to stop. 

 Joking aside, my real concern is that I like going to the movies.  It's a night out with friends or that special someone.  You're out and about, away from the apartment, being somewhat active and enjoying your free time.  But the more frequently movies end up on DVD within a few short months of their release the less apt I am to see movies in the theater.  After the price of two tickets (yes I pay for the gal pal as often as possible) I've already covered the cost of a newly released DVD at Bull moose.  Why waste my money?  If I hate the movie I can't get that money back.  With a DVD purchase (or rental) I can at least trade the movie in for some store credit at the aforementioned bull moose or return it to the video store.  Even if the local electronics shop offers me $5 for my trade I'll still be saving on what it would have cost me to buy two tickets to see the movie in the theater.  As a collector of movies and as someone that likes seeing a ton of movies on the wall at home, I'd rather gamble my money on the physical DVD once than see a movie in theater and decide I really like it and pay for it all over again in a few short months. 

 I guess the point of my ramblings is that I'd be more apt to go to the movies if I knew that it'd be at least six months before I'd be able to buy it on DVD.  This would soften the blow on my wallet, at least in my mindset, and I'd be more apt to head out to check out a film I deemed interesting.  As of late I've been more than content waiting for the DVD release because well, as of late I only have to wait a couple extra months before I could have the option of watching. 

 *side note*

I saw Transformers in theaters twice.  I paid the first time and the gal pal paid for us the second time.  I plan on buying the movie, she plans on buying the movie.  Between us Michael Bay and those lovely people at Dreamworks will have an estimated $80 of our combined dollars for this film.................one movie...$80...I think I'll start skipping the theater releases more often because $80 could BUY me 4 movies....it's just a bummer that I think this way.  How about you?

 

I make no arguments nor do I try and contest the simple fact that I am probably the last person that you should talk to or receive advice from when it comes to love, life or relationships.  Simply put, I've made more mistakes than I know what to do with.  It is because of my mistakes that I hold in high regard the ever so insightful definition of the word insanity, as was pegged by the one and only Albert Einstein. As many of you know, he deems that insanity is when you do the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.  I can think of nothing else that holds so true to this definition than matters of the heart.  We're all going to make mistakes, it's how we correct them and how be plan to prevent them that makes us who we are.  Some of us are just a bit more sane than others.

Like my disclaimer above, I'll make no attempt at stating or even suggesting that I'm anymore sane than anyone else.  I too have attempted to resolve problems both in life and with relationships using a method that had already proven to be anything but affective.  I've tried several times in fact in hopes of achieving a different result.  Of course nothing different came of it unless an increase in frustration can be classified as a change.  So it is because of my flirtation with insanity that I've stumbled across what can be described as nothing more than common sense.  I find it most entertaining that sometimes the hardest lessons yield the simplest answers.  What follows is, for lack of a better description, so obvious that typing it only seems like a waste of space.  Perhaps you'll humor me in my delusion though and entertain my notion that by putting this in a blog I can help to alleviate someone else’s frustrations and pass along a bit of information made privy to me after some less than exciting experiences.  Enjoy!

My advice to anyone is to stop and think, even for a moment, about what it is that is important in life.  Is it your car, your money or anything material; or is it your friends and your family?  What happens on the day your heart stops beating, when the oxygen slowly stops going to your brain and you're left with what will be your last thoughts? What will be on your mind?  Will it be that fancy car of yours or maybe that awesome new computer you purchased?  Will you smile to yourself and think about how successful you were and how many cool material objects you acquired?  Will you request to be buried with your DVD collection or with all your favorite clothes so that you can look good and be entertained as your body rots away in an over priced boxed your family felt pressured to put you in?  Or will you remember the experiences you had, the time spent with all the people that actually meant something to you?  Will you embrace and accept that despite whatever challenges came your way in life you were actually loved and will be missed?  Is this far too morbid for you? 

Let's face one simple fact; we're creatures of emotion and thought.  Physically we are inferior, albeit our pose able thumbs, to a large number of the creatures we share this planet with and the only thing truly responsible for our existence on this planet is our ability to problem solve.  It's a bit disappointing that we are so brilliant but exhibit the most destructive and ignorant tendencies given just how smart we should be.   So it is with this mentality that I've attempted to get a grasp on my life and think of things as though I were to pass on tomorrow.  I will never advocate something as irrational as selling your personal possessions and jumping the first boat scheduled to go around the world.  I will, however, advocate in the favor of making your life the best it can be and one of the places to start is with your relationships.

Let's face it, we all yearn for love.  The notion that someone would lay themselves down for you, give you everything they had to make you happy, who wouldn't want that?  It's sometimes the only thing in this world that can prevent you from feeling alone.  My mistakes in the past, however, have been in the vein of such things.  I've overlooked and underappreciated the love of both friends and family.  As I venture forth into the world and continually gain ground and a stable footing on what I would deem an understanding of how this is all supposed to work, I've begun to realize that love, if nothing more than a word to classify a series of feelings under, is a very powerful thing. What follows is only a small portion of what I've been giving thought to lately and it stands as the most prevalent subject matter for me at this time. 

When you love someone, especially someone that you coin as your significant other, it's important that you not lose sight of just how important that person is.  I cannot tell the future, nor can you (or Sylvia Browne for that matter), but I'm not so fool hearted as to ever assume anything, be they friendships or relationships, will last forever.  My advice to you is to do everything in your power to realize that nothing exists so permanently that you can neglect it, especially when dealing with matters of the heart and someone else's emotions.

Whenever someone has turned their trust over to you, attempted to become your teammate in this often cruel and unforgiving circle of life, it is in your best interest to remind yourself day in and day out that you have someone so brave as to entrust you with the very core of who they are.  Do not, under any circumstance, let a day go by without telling them you understand this.  Embrace every moment you're with them and learn to love them both for who they are and who they're going to become.  Encourage them to do everything in life they ever wanted to do.  Stand beside them when they ask, hold their hand when they're unsure and let them go when it's necessary.  Hold their interests and their goals as close to you as you would your own.  Do whatever you can to make them happy and make it your goal to put a smile on their face each day.  Pick them up when they fall and kiss their wounds; (mental wounds of course kissing open wounds could make you ill) and avoid throwing salt. 

When you have that someone in your life, that one person that makes you smile no matter how horrible your day has gone, make sure you're reciprocating everything that they provide for you.  When they're down and out, when they're sure nothing in life will go their way, remind them that life has already bestowed upon them the awesomeness of your presence.  Make sure that presence is actually awesome.

Learn to love every facet of that person.  We're individuals, completely separate and unique to anyone other than ourselves.  Realize this.  Learn to love their flaws be they physical or just simple bad habits. Realize that not one person is the same and it will be those little things that make that person unique and yours.  Love every part of their body from scars on their hands or their crooked teeth.  Learn to love every flaw because it will be those flaws that separate that person from the rest of the world. 

Make sure you work as a team.  Communicate to each other and practice the art of being honest.  Omission is the highest form of lying and will ultimately be more painful than a blatant lie.  Let them make their own decisions and discuss with them the very nature of what would lead them to make such a choice.  Compromise, there are two people involved not just one.  Make sure you learn just who they are and experience life through their eyes; let them experience it through yours.

Lastly, be prepared to travel to the ends of the earth and back again.  Nothing worth loving is ever worth letting go, no matter what challenge comes your way.  If things are meant to work they'll do just that but not if you can't help yourself out.  Your life is short; your friends and loved ones are important, make sure you're recognizing this as doing so will yield great rewards. 

I've grown to accept the fact that Chris Rock and I will never be friends.  He's a celebrity and I; I'm a master control operator for a local Fox affiliate.  Were we to ever cross paths in life however, we would still be incapable of ever forming a fruitful and lasting relationship.  Why, you may ask, do I think this to be true?  The answer my friends is simple; because if I ever set foot in a room with this guy I have no choice but to punch him square in the face for creating what very well could be the WORST movie I've subjected myself to. 

 Here is a list of things I feel you should not do when making a movie:

 1.) If you write it try to keep yourself out of it.  If you insist on being in it please make your role small.  *Ahem*M. Night*Ahem*.

2.) In case you can actually write yourself a role in a movie AND still feel you can perform the part successfully please, and now I beg this of you or anyone in this position, PLEASE for the love of anything that is holy; get someone else to direct it.  Do not, under any circumstance, become so arrogant that you feel you're at all capable of successfully directing when you yourself are in front of the camera.  If, and I do mean IF, if you have YEARS of experience under your belt and a great team of people working closely with you then, and only then, do you stand a chance at accomplishing this monumental task.  Has anyone learned anything from M. Night's horrendous movie Lady in the Water?  Chris Rock hasn't.  The real kicker in all of this; Mr. Rock seems to think he has enough experience on screen to actually take on this insurmountable task of all in one movie making magician and attempts to do so while making his directorial debut.  My advice, Mr. Rock, stick with what you know, and this isn't it.

 So now here is where I rip this movie apart.  Let's start with the story.  It sucks.  I don't know how long this movie is but the total running time far exceeded the written content.  In short, Rock's character is married with kids and life for him is boring.  His wife is less than exciting and never has sex with him.  Rock is sexually frustrated and so in walks an old love interest of his.  She shows him a good time, Rock's wife still won't give it up, some less than entertaining things happen that are supposed to be funny but completely miss, then Rock ALMOST cheats but realizes that he has a family and the movie ends. 

If that above paragraph sounds at all interesting than let me go on. 

Chris decides that vulgarity is funny (which it's not) and all of the parts in this film that are supposed to be funny are actually just Chris yelling with that annoying voice of his and tossing the "F" bomb around.  I was a day camp counselor once and I can tell you that twelve year olds think it's cool to swear but last I checked, that's pretty much it.  Chris also tosses the race card in a few times, and the "N" word.  It's completely out of place and contributes NOTHING to the story at all.  It's almost like an after thought.  Someone probably came up to Chris while shooting the movie and said, "Hey, why don't you mention something about white people here to prove a point that has absolutely NOTHING to do with this movie right now."  Here's my advice, if you want to discuss race issues than do so, but pot shots and jabs that come from nowhere and leave just as quickly, it's just pointless and irrelevant.  Not one ounce of this movie has anything to do with the color of anyone's skin, at all, in any way! 

I don't know who was paid to edit this junk of a script together, probably Chris, but I would have edited about 3/4 of this movie out.  The movie is so long that it repeats itself!  First the love interest comes in, Rock gets into trouble, love interest leaves.  Love interest comes back, Rock gets into more trouble, love interest leaves.  Now can anyone guess what happens next?  I'm guessing no as this movie is going to assume you're an idiot so let me help you out.  The love interest, yet again, comes back; Rock gets into trouble but finally learns his lesson, end of movie.  It's AWESOME!!!

Do yourself a favor and punch anyone that looks at you seriously and says, "Let's watch this movie," square in the face.  You'll save yourself the hassle of 1.) Watching this movie and 2.) Wanting to punch yourself in the face for sitting through it.  As for Chris Rock and myself, let's hope we don't see each other any time soon, that guy owes me two hours of my life back.  Oh, and if you need me to grade this movie in order to give you  an overall idea of  what I thought, it gets an F, as in what the  "F" happened to those two hours of my life.

 

 

I'm a fan of Adam Sandler.  I own EVERY movie (yes that includes going overboard) and almost every CD that that man has ever been in or released.  I stood steadfast and strong as perhaps the only supporter of his work while arguing in great length with my film class professors about the importance of stupid movies.  I believe the man to be an all around good guy and he stands as one of the few celebrities I would actually want to meet.  So as you can tell, this review stood a good chance of being biased.  Well you can put to rest the idea that I'm going to like this movie purely on Adam's merit, I don't even remember if he was Chuck or Larry.

 This movie is, for lack of any desire to make this review long or descriptive, forgettable.  Do yourself a favor and wait to rent this movie if you feel the urge to see it and then do yourself another favor and rent something else while you're at it.  You'll need something else to watch when you realize this movie has about as much depth as a mud puddle.  If I were to release this on DVD one of the special features I'd include would be an apology.  On a plus side; the chemistry between Sandler and James is actually quite good and entertaining!

It's summertime and summertime means blockbusters. Blockbusters mean that a mass group of happy people will spend their hard earned cash on multi-million dollar pieces of work that, upon further inspection, will stand to be nothing more than mindless fun. Live Free: and Die Hard is a true testament and may even serve as the very definition of what makes a summer blockbuster.

I'm not a fan of outlining plots, especially when it's not necessary, so let's leave the plot outline at this: John McClain is back with more attitude, explosions and one liners. Oh, and at some point in the film John's daughter makes an appearance, albeit a bit shallow and meaningless and almost afterthoughtish (if that's even a word).

With that stated, I only marginally enjoyed this film. By marginally I mean, this film, for all intent and purposes, is worthless. It stands more as a blatant attempt to cash in on a series that has long since seen its heyday. There's almost no attempt to push any kind of character development but who are we kidding? This is an action movie, you don't need things like, oh I don't know, a serious plot or character development. What this movie proves is that you can have a lot of fun if you recycle a formula that has been tried and found true in three movies prior. Unfortunately, this formula needed to be upgraded and they attempted to do so by making it just crazy and over the top. Unfortunately my ability to suspend disbelief was thwarted when it became apparent that John McClain is now immortal. I think that in the next iteration of this series we should find out that John is actually the Terminator and has an indestructible metal skeleton underneath his gruff and aging exterior.

Now I'm being a little unfair right now and perhaps I've put this movie through a bit of a wringer. Let me backtrack a bit here and say this: This movie is fun. Unfortunately it's fun in a Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore way. The one liners are great, as they usually are in the Die Hard films, and the action, at times, is top notch. Unfortunately the story doesn't connect with the other three and shows all the signs of being thrown together for the simple sake of having some motivation for the characters to survive something crazy or to deliver their next joke. When it was all said and done, I still hate the story and cared not for what was going on but only what was coming up. When it comes to watching movies, I think you should always be engaged in what's going on not wondering just when things would get really cool again.

Would I suggest seeing this movie? Of course, it's fast, fun, funny, and full of action. Have you seen this movie before? Yes, a million times. Will anything surprise you? No, not at all. Are there any real plot twists or anything to try and figure out? No. That's probably what makes this movie great. Get on that roller coaster and go for the ride. Don't waste your time thinking, at all, period, about anything. Try your best to forget the world of physics and common sense, they don't apply here. Do your best to ignore the over the top situations and if you can deal with the most anti-climactic ending in recent action movie history, pay for your entrance to the film and hopefully the ride will leave you a bit more thrilled than myself. Unfortunately for me, this movie feels just like any rollercoaster...fun the first few times but after a while it's just more of the same. Here's to hoping that John McClain finally retires after this less than thrilling chapter in his over the top life.

It's not too often that I get super excited about a movie. Interested, yes, but excited, that doesn't happen hardly ever if at all. In this circumstance, however, I was very excited about the release of Transformers. I'm a product of the 80's and frequently sport my autobot t-shirt around the station. I will occasionally purchase a Transformer toy every now and again out of the pure joy of manipulating them into the different objects like cars, trucks tanks and airplanes. I own the feature length animated Transformers movie that was released in the 80's and throw it in for a good laugh from time to time. I've followed the creation of this movie since it was given the green light and after over a year of reading articles, interviews and searching the internet for production stills of the film, I was able to sit down in a crowded theater with my fellow Transformers fans and experience the awe that is this film....but just because I was awed doesn't mean I think it's any good.

Let me start by saying this...I don't feel like outlining this plot. Why you may ask? Because this movie would serve just as well without one. So far as I was concerned, if things blew up and giant robots kicked the crap out of each other, all I needed was a small reason to tie it together. Does this movie do that? Yes. Does it do it well? Sure, well enough that is. The overall plot is weak, as you can imagine, but it's sufficient. There are a number of characters and sub plots used to move from point A to point B but in all honesty, these plots are there specifically to move you from one action scene to the next and once you're there you tend to forget just how you got there and you tend not to care where it is you're going. In some respect there are too many subplots that weren't explored to their full potential and at a lengthy two hours and twenty-three minutes, it's probably best served that they not be explored any further. My only real complaint is that it feels like there are three, sometimes four different story lines to follow but they're so underdeveloped and lacking that you tend to forget about them until you're re-introduced later on. By the point of your re-introduction you're more or less concerned with just what this scene has to do with robots kicking each other around and how it's going to lead to the next big fight.

The effects in this film are top notch. Each transformer is detailed to the point of ridiculousness and watching them transform never gets old. I found myself watching in pure wonder at each scene because of how well everything was done. You'll see dents and scratches on the paint jobs as well as dirt and grease. When the robots are running around the city you can't help but suspend all disbelief and watch in awe at just how fluent the movements are and how seamless the characters fit in the environment. If you didn't know any better you'd probably think these robots were real, albeit a bit animated in some respects but that's to be expected. Overall this movie is a real visual treat.

The one aspect of this film that may hit or miss lies in its sense of humor. There are times when the film tends to fight back and forth with itself as if it hasn't quite decided whether it wants to make fun or if it wants to be taken seriously. For as many scenes as there are with robots kicking the living crap out of each other and blowing things up, there are equally as many scenes with jokes and light hearted shots to the chin, kind of the like movie itself wants to poke fun at you for watching. I definitely found myself laughing far more than expected but unfortunately I feel it takes away from what could be some great dramatic moments. You ever have a friend that can't be serious, ever, at all? Like it almost scares them to sit and have a serious conversation so instead they tell jokes even at the most inopportune times to keep from being too serious? Well this movie is that friend. With all the hype and fear amongst hardcore fans that this would be a real flop, I get the impression that the humor was the "go to" element to keep from any notion of becoming a flop. What better way to eliminate the need for serious plot and character development than to constantly relieve everything with humor? Regardless, it stands a good chance you'll laugh and you'll likely laugh a lot. It's not a bad thing, I just feel as though there were a few key moments in the film that could have really affected the audience and gotten a bit of respect for being something more than a balls to the wall action flick. There are a few moments that really could have been powerful were they allowed to thrive on their own merits but instead they were dumbed down with a petty joke.

This is, for lack of a better description, a fantastic summer movie. I wouldn't suggest you walk into this film with any expectations. Laugh at the jokes, enjoy the visuals, hell you can even pay attention to the storyline if you care enough to do so, but it's Summer! Relax, kick your feet up, enjoy the weather, enjoy the block busters and definitely enjoy the light hearted nature of this film. Michael Bay knows what he's doing and unless you've got a chip on your shoulder or you're not a fan of robots in disguise, there's plenty to take away from this film. I guess my only question now is just how they'll make a sequel that's even more over the top?

 

 

 

Movie trailers stand to be the very needle that leads the thread of your desire to see a movie.  Nothing compares to a well edited, well composed clip that outlines the plot line of what is soon to be a multi-million dollar adventure funded in part by your meager earnings.  Of course movie trailers are incredibly biased.  Their creation serves as nothing more than propaganda, a way to lure you in, to string you along and influence your decision to see said movie.  Common sense would suggest that this is in fact the nature of the movie trailer's very existence.  Personally I think it steals something very important from you, something that very few people ever actually get the opportunity to experience; the ability to approach the movie without a predisposition. 

Let me pose this question to you.  Do you think that you would have the same thoughts and feelings regarding a movie were you to know absolutely NOTHING about it?  Would your favorite movie still be your favorite movie if you never actually knew what it was about prior to you’re watching it?  Would you have been nearly as patient with the plot holes or forgiving of the performances if you ultimately knew nothing about the future happenings prior to the first viewing?  The problem with most scenarios is that all judgment is skewed by prior knowledge.  Simply put, knowing a movie is about aliens that come to earth and blow things up, you're given the foundation on which you'll base the very core of your opinion.  If you don't like films about aliens you'll likely to form a predisposition to the movie and your viewing of such will result in an opinion that is already subject to your very own biased.  In other words, you're going to like what you like and you're not going to like what you don't already like. 

As an interesting and possibly entertaining experiment I suggest the following:  Locate a friend who has a movie you haven't heard of.  Make sure you haven't heard of the title or even know anything about who is in the film.  Borrow the movie.  Place the movie in your DVD player.  (Note that putting the DVD into the DVD player is a very important step)  Find a pillow and a blanket.  Turn out the lights.  (Or leave them on if you prefer) Grab a large glass of your favorite beverage and a snack.  Remove all other distractions, such as cell phones, and push play.  If at all possible try not to pay attention to the menus.  You may even want to have the television muted at this point just to make sure you don't hear any music or dialog that could suggest a certain tone or mood that will be carried throughout the film.  If at all possible watch the movie alone.  Someone else's excitement, boredom or frustrations could both distract and influence your movie watching experience. 

 Now, with that all said and done, enjoy the film.  Take in every aspect of the movie from the music to the dialog to the overall editing of the scenes.  Take note of composition, mood and plot development.  In theory you should have nothing to go on but what the director gives you.  All future happenings in the film should be alluded to through character interactions and plot points not a preview you saw on TV.  You know nothing about future happenings and have nothing to wait for or to look forward to.  You cannot be disappointed by that which you don't know anything about.

 When the movie concludes you should be able to form an unbiased opinion on that which you had just seen.  Technically you should have had zero expectations as you knew nothing about the movie prior to watching it and the storyline itself should have been what guided you through the movie not some event you saw previewed in the theater. 

I challenge each and every one of you to do this...then let me know what movie you watched, what you truly thought about it and whether or not you think you would have watched the movie had you seen the trailer first.  Were you engaged in the movie, were you able to predict future events and happenings while watching it?  Were you at all confused in the direction the movie was going or what the director was trying to convey?  Did you enjoy the film because of the story line, the cinematography, the music, the dialog, or perhaps not at all?  Use the time that you’re sitting comfortably on your couch to do nothing more than lose yourself in a movie you know nothing about.  I say give it a try.  What's the worst that'll happen?  Sure you'll lose a couple hours of your life at best but if the movie doesn’t entertain you turn it off, that counts as a valid stance and proves only that you weren't willing to ride the story out.  Maybe it wasn't developed well enough or didn't suit your taste.  It's not the movie we're worried about here, it's preserving your ability to enjoy one without  predisposition.

 

 

With all this talk about Michael J. Fox and going back to the future I decided to revisit my prior attempt at acquiring the Frighteners.  I didn't strap a blender to the back of my car nor did I hit 88 mph on the way to the store but I'm happy to inform you that was actually able to acquire a used version of Peter Jackson's Director's cut of the film.

 I hadn't watched this film since its release in 1996, or rather; I hadn't watched this movie in its entirety since its release in 1996.  I was pretty pumped to check it out again as I've been meaning to add it to my collection for some time and entered the evening with high hopes of being thoroughly entertained.  I wasn't too disappointed.

For those of you who don't know, the Frighteners is a film directed by Peter Jackson.  Yeah, that guy, Mr. Lord of the Rings and King Kong himself.  For you movie geeks out there you may be happy to know that the idea of doing the ever so famous Lord of the Rings stems from the creation of this movie.  According to Jackson, this movie was so effects heavy that they had to purchase thirty-five computers to support the nearly five-hundred effects scenes.  Upon nearing the completion of the film Jackson actually began to worry about what would become of all the computers purchased and so began the first talks and phone calls made in regards to the Lord of the Rings.  Now, with all that seemingly worthless banter aside I'll start the review.

 Michael J. Fox plays Frank Bannister, a recluse who trots around town offering up his psychic abilities to those who have recently lost loved ones and wish to communicate with them.  (Kind of like the lovely miss Sylvia Brown!)  Though he's often viewed as a scam artist, a car accident five years prior claimed the life of his wife and opened a door in his mind that actually allows him to see the spirits of those who have passed. 

Bannister makes no attempt at actually using his "gift" for good but rather, he employs the services of three ghosts and has created a nice gig for himself scamming people in the area out of their money.  In short, the ghosts haunt the house, the victim finds Frank's business card, Frank comes over and "busts" the ghosts.  Victim pays Frank, Frank puts money towards the completion of his and his late wife's dream home, repeat.

The relationship between Frank and the ghosts is perhaps the more entertaining part of the film but unfortunately I don't feel that it's explored nearly enough.  There will come a point in the movie where the ghosts actually disappear altogether and the remainder of the film seems long and drawn out.  Granted there is a bit of comic relief in the form of Jeffrey Combs (perhaps best known for his work in the Re-Animator series) but  it doesn't approach the same level of wit and humor and seems a little uneven.  The overall concept is also a bit underdeveloped as you never quite figure out why it is these ghosts even hang around with Frank and what incentive they have to continue doing his bidding.  One can only assume it has to do with their need to feel attached to the land of the living, but this point is really only highlight a few times and only in subtle form.  (I guess I could have missed something in there on my way to the fridge once?)

Now this film couldn't survive on its own merits if Frank and his clan of ghosts went around scaring people and taking their money.  There's a reason you only see this happen twice before the real point of the movie takes over.  Sadly the last scare involves a rich woman that, despite seeing her kids flying around the room unaided, calls Frank out on his scam.  Apparently flying kids are normal in this household.  The whole scene is poorly done and ill-explained but none-the-less it's the last time this area of the film is explored and serves more as a transition into the primary focus of the movie.  Simply put, it leads Frank to the next plot point.  

The lovely citizens of the drab town are being stalked by a creature that can only be best described as "death".  Picture a long dark robe and scrawny, bone like hands that extend beyond the cuffs of the robe.  The CGI is well done and damn near seamless when given the year in which this movie was created.  Though a little animated and out of place at times, "death" is the only character that even begins to prompt the feeling of fear in this film.  Unfortunately he has been given a lot screen time so after a while you're just used to his being there and he's even less imposing than the stay puft marshmallow man.  Even worse is when you eventually figure out just who "death" is you're far from surprised and maybe even a little disappointed.  Regardless, it's important to note here the Frank has the ability to see just who "death" will be coming for next in the form of a number that appears on the victim's forehead the only he can see.  This serves to be an important plot point as a number was carved into the forehead of his deceased wife after the fateful car accident that gave Frank his "gift".  It's an interesting spin on things and the only thing that doesn't really work for me is the whole number on his wife's head, it just seems out of place when it's explained.

Overall the movie is great on the front end and tends to lean towards mediocre in the end.  It's a worth while viewing especially if you're a fan of Horror, Comedy, Peter Jackson, or Michael J. Fox.  If neither of those tickle your fancy, well, clearly you should stay away from this film.  It's heavy in special effects and visually it's a treat.  You'll find a few plot points that seem a little forced and there's a chance you'll be incredibly annoyed with Mr. Combs's character.  I'm happy to add it to my collection however and feel it wouldn't be complete without it.

 Pros: Michael J. Fox, Jeffery Combs, the special effects, the one liners

Cons: It misses on the horror element almost entirely and a few of the comedy elements are, well, less then humorous. 

Suggested Movies that compliment this one: Back to the Future, Dead Alive, Ghost Busters









 

 

Let me start by saying this:  Michael J. Fox.

 I'm willing to bet that right now there are several things going through your head and I'm also willing to bet that very few, if any of them, are bad.  Simply put, Michael J. Fox is a real stand up guy.  I personally don't think I've ever associated his name in a negative connotation and I would be honored if ever I found myself in his presence.  I don't consider myself one of those people that get excited about celebrities but I would be truly humbled and incredibly appreciative if ever I had the chance to talk with that man.  It is in that regard that brings me to my first movie review.

As stated in my first blog, I primarily focus my attention on the acquisition horror movies and had set out one evening last week to add yet another to my collection.  I was in pursuit of Frighteners but found myself empty handed when the store didn't have a copy.  Even though my initial response was disappointment, I began to realize that the real appeal of that movie for me was Fox's performance.  This in turn prompted my flashback of what is easily his most popular movie, Back to the Future. Comparatively it's a much better deal to purchase the Back to the Future trilogy than the special edition copy of Frigtheners so I picked up the aforementioned trilogy and proceeded home.

I could spend time writing a long and detailed review but at this time I feel a majority of the people reading this post have already seen all three films  I have yet to watch any of the special features so even though an overall DVD review would be great, I'd have to devote up to ten hours, that's right, ten hours of time to sit through the additional special features packed in this "box set".  What I've opted to do is review the entire trilogy as one entity and so let me begin.

I feel like an old man when I say this but they certainly don't make trilogies like this anymore.  Every movie ends with a bit of a cliff hanger and every movie begins exactly where the other leaves off.  The writing and directing stay consistent throughout all three movies (a rarity these days) and the overall feel of the each movie is carried from one to the other.  The performances are even and the movies are well paced.  Nothing ever really seems one sided, meaning it doesn't feel as though any one movie received more attention than the others. 

 The story itself is intricately woven throughout the entire series and it's clear to me that the writers were careful in much of their planning and scripting.  Time travel is a hard topic to approach and nearly impossible to pull off because it prompts people to think about the logistics behind it and, well, it's just not logical.  Although this series doesn't do it flawlessly, it does create a reality that works and sticks to it.  So long as you can suspend disbelief and create your own set of rules for the universe, your story will work.  If you break your own rules things start to get crazy.  Fortunately the rules are set for us in the beginning of the series and they're carried out throughout. 

 There are definitely faults with the series as a whole.  The third movie does stand to be a little weak and definitely pushes the envelope a bit when it comes to being just a bit too campy but overall it's forgivable.  I'm also not a fan of westerns or western themed movies so there is always that bit of biased in there that'll influence my opinion.

 In closing I'd like to point out that that while each movie deserves its own individual review, (something that I'm just not up for) all three movies will make you laugh, they'll keep you entertained and most importantly, the cast delivers an incredible and likable performance.  It’s always fun when you can learn to love the characters and simply put, I think Doc and Marty are two of the most beloved characters in current movie history.  Do yourself a favor and revisit this trilogy, then strap a blender to the back of your car and race down the street at 88mph and see where it takes you.

 

Movies have been a large part of my life for many a year now.  I can't exactly pinpoint the moment that started it all but as a child I would always lose myself in movies.  I used to memorize the lines of all my favorites and recite them verbatim as I watched.  At the beginning of the movie I'd always lay claim to which character was "me" and sometimes I'd act out the parts with my friends while the movie played. 

 Horror movies have become my "thing" so to speak.  According to my mom my first horror movie experience was A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Apparently we had some creaky water pipes in the apartment we were living in (keep in mind I was five at this time) and after the movie (yes my mom sat down and let me watch it with her) I got freaked out because the pipes were creaking and I thought Freddy was dragging is claws along the pipes and that he was coming to get me.  My mom tells this story as though I should be embarrassed; I tell her I can't believe she let a kid of my age watch the movie. 

The Lost Boys stands to be my favorite horror film.  It's the perfect blend of humor and horror and who can beat that AWESOME soundtrack?  Is it the scariest or greatest movie of all time?  No.  But I remember watching that movie five times in one evening once at a sleep over reciting every single last line with my friends.  As a matter of fact, the movie itself resides in my backpack; I plan on watching it later.

I spent my college years in just about every film course the University offered.  Whether it was the philosophy of film, film and social order or world cinema, if it was available I was in it.  These courses were always writing intensive and I learned to critique and analyze just about every last element of every film.  (I once did a ten plus page analysis of the movie Pulp Fiction and haven't watched it since)  Despite my education and the supposed notion that my concentration in criticism suggests my opinion of movies should be valid, I tend to stray towards low budget horror films with terrible plots.

 In summation, my blogs will likely feature long winded rants about movies I've seen.  You’ll probably see a number of horror films pop up in my blogs as I’m diligently working at expanding my personal horror library.  I’m always open to suggestions and I make every effort to check out every movie put in front of me.  Occasionally I’ll even catch a blockbuster or critically acclaimed piece or work, rest assured I’ll let you know just what I think about them and every other movie that comes my way.  Enjoy!